It is Your Turn to Ask – Character Creates Opportunity®: Thursday, December 27, 2018

When was the last time you asked for help…in any area of life…whether it was something big or small?

For many of us, it may have been a real long time ago.

We could spend a great deal of time discussing why we don’t ask for help, but suffice to say, many of us do not ask for help. We typically march on until disaster strikes and we have blown our cover-up, or we fall short of a goal because we stubbornly tried to go it alone.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, having the courage to ask for help can strengthen our relationship with others and make positive strides towards reaching our full potential.

Let’s face it, we all could use some help. Whether at work, home or in our community, a little help could go a long way in achieving a goal or objective.

Some of the typical excuses we make for not asking for help are (a) We have this stubborn myth that men and women should be self-reliant, and only the weak need and ask for help (b) We don’t want to be a burden to others (c) We have asked for help before and been ridiculed or shamed and just don’t want to go down that path again.

Like many situations in life, when we take our focus off ourselves and look to others, we can find some insight to support our personal growth and maturity.

When we ask someone for help, we strengthen our relationship with them because:

  1. We affirm that they matter to someone else (us) in a most genuine way as we openly acknowledge they have the skills, abilities, or resources to help. By asking someone for help we meet a most important human need in them, to know that they matter.
  2. We demonstrate that we trust them in a most open and vulnerable way. We acknowledge we are in a vulnerable spot and we trust them to help and not hurt. Trust is essential in building long-term healthy relationships…and we could all use a few more relationships built on trust.
  3. We open a door for them to give instead of receive. We all know the truth in that it is better to give than to receive and we enable them to experience the joy of giving without any guess work.
  4. We set a positive example for others to follow. We all need some help and our ability to demonstrate the courage to ask may help others to ask for help during their time of need.

As we demonstrate the courage to ask for help, we will build and strengthen our character, and Character Creates Opportunity to build strong and healthy relationships with those we care about most.

 

2 thoughts on “It is Your Turn to Ask – Character Creates Opportunity®: Thursday, December 27, 2018

  1. Our research on men’s health demonstrates that this one small, HUGE step — asking for help — is one of the most important factors contributing to the relatively poorer health of men compared to women. Time and again, our studies showed that many men were struggling to overcome their upbringing of being taught from BOYHOOD to be “real men” — which meant being the ultimate “tough guy.” One of our respondents put it very well — “A real man is a man who is brave enough to ask for help when he needs it.” Our team concluded that this psychological barrier to help-seeking leads many men into a corner of social isolation (i.e., be alone) precisely when they need the help of others the most. Let’s not fall into this trap. Esposito is RIGHT — “we all could use some help” — especially we tough guys.

    1. Woody – Thank you so much for the comments and the additional information. Great point on being brave enough to ask for help. Thanks!

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