When We Were Young – Character Creates Opportunity®

No, this is not an “old school” story about walking up hill in the snow both ways to school and how tough it was compared to today’s children. Rather, it is a note about what we believe.

When we were children, we were “believers.” We believed in the impossible and we believed it when others said we had great potential and could accomplish great things. Sure, we also may have believed in the boogeyman and monsters under our bed, but we believed in our potential to do great things.

It may have been a parent teaching us how to ride a bike, shoot a basket, or finish a difficult math problem. It may have been a coach preparing us for the big game or just a tough practice. It may have been a friend who was the “adventurer” and helped us believe. When we were children, someone helped us to believe we had unlimited potential.

There was a time when we believed it. When we believed in ourselves to achieve great things.

Then something happened.

Someone told us we couldn’t do it and we believed their limitations. We may have fallen short one too many times. We may have grown callous to hope through time and experience.

As we continue to build and strengthen our character, we need to face the reality of what has impacted our ability to believe in ourselves and take the necessary steps to believe again.

When we strip away all the fluff, there is the reality of a few key areas that are at the foundation of how we became a non-believer:

  • Fear. We all carry with us some fear. Fear of failure, humiliation, going hungry, of being alone, etc. Fear unchecked can cause us to be unbelievers. Fear as adults most often resembles the monster under our bed. Our fear of whatever, many times does not come about and if it does, it is rarely as bad as it seems…just like the monster under our bed.
  • Negativity. We finally gave in to the negative view that most often surrounds us. Psychologists say it takes most of us about 5 positive affirmations to overcome one negative opinion. Often times, we have become overwhelmed by the negativity and slowly we moved down the path of no longer believing in our potential. Like the character in The Sun Also Rises when asked how did you go bankrupt? “Gradually and then suddenly,” our emotional bank account just got too far in the negative that we have felt bankruptcy was our only option.
  • Choice. We make the choice to believe or not to believe. We can pass the buck if want to, but the truth is, we own the choice and at some point, we chose not to believe.

Here are a few ideas to reconnect with our childhood and become believers again in order to reach our full potential:

  • Faith. We all have faith. Whether it is faith in God, ourselves, our family, the truth contained in the natural law of the harvest (we reap what we sow), we all have faith that the sun will come up this morning and we face a new day. Don’t lose faith.
  • Positive reinforcement. Whether we describe it as counting our blessings, stopping to smell the roses, or taking some inventory of our past accomplishments, we need reminders of the positives in our life. These small, consistent steps are our most effective way to pay off a huge deficit of negativity in our own emotional bank account.
  • The company we keep. Often times, we become like those around us. Seek out the relationships that combine a view of the world that is realistic and favors the side of positive and is full of opportunity vs. negative and full of doom and gloom. When our closest, committed relationships have a negative bent, maintain the effort to stay on the positive and our influence will be felt over time.

When we were children, we were believers. It may be time for each of us to relearn the importance of believing in our potential to achieve the healthy goals we desire like strong, loving relationships, productive employment to make a positive difference in the marketplace and the home front, and those really BIG dreams that many times we have kept to ourselves.

As Teddy Roosevelt believed, “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”

It is time to become believers again and step back into the ring.

As we make the choice as adults to believe again, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity to reach our full potential and have a great impact on those around us.

How can I help you today? My mobile is 269-370-9275 and my email is david@harvesttimepartners.com  

Please download some FREE resources at www.harvesttimepartners.com  I hope you will find them helpful in your journey to be your best for those you care about most.

The Bright Side of Loneliness – Character Creates Opportunity®

During the holiday season, some of us struggle with loneliness and I wanted repost a prior blog on the bright side of loneliness.

If we chose to believe the statistics, either we or someone close to us on our left or right struggles with feeling alone. If we take an honest reflection of our own lives, there are probably times when we felt the sense of being out there all alone facing a particular situation:

  • In the workplace, we can feel alone in dealing with a difficult boss, being a part of a project team that just doesn’t function like a team, or when we lost that “critical” account and everyone is turning their eyes on us.
  • In school, when the “cool” group leaves us behind or we stayed home instead of attending the big party, we can feel a bit lonely.
  • In the home, we can feel alone during times of struggle in a marriage, children whose birth order may align with certain experiences (it is more than just the middle child syndrome), or when adult children start making life choices that conflict with the hopes of parents.

We can all feel lonely from time to time.

There were two times in my adult life when I have walked down the road with a close friend facing a terminal illness. In both experiences, they commented how wonderful it was to have family and friends around to help them in their most difficult situation. However, both of them, from very different backgrounds and walks of life, made the same comment to me that even with all these people around, their journey down that final road is an extremely lonely one.

As we continue to build and strengthen our character, embracing the bright side of loneliness will help each of us reach our full potential throughout the ups and downs of life in our home, the workplace, and community.

Like most things in life, we can view challenges as a reminder of our own weaknesses or we can use challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. We make that choice every day, and dealing with loneliness is no different. We have a choice. There was some recent published research on the best ways of coping with loneliness, and of all the options like group therapy, community intervention, pharmaceutical treatments, etc., the most effective was some individual support to encourage changing our own thoughts and beliefs about ourselves.

As we view these occasions of loneliness as opportunities to grow, here are a few ways to remind us of the bright side of loneliness.

  • The first step towards self-improvement. The quiet of loneliness is a helpful place because the first step of any great movement starts with struggles in the present. In the quiet of loneliness, quite often we can see the need for change. Whether it is in our careers to find something purposeful that excites us, or in our educational pursuits to study something that can help us to have a real positive impact, or in our homes to take steps to be a better spouse or parent. Our desire to improve our situation starts with some dissatisfaction of the present. In the cold quiet of loneliness, we often find the spark to ignite positive change in our lives.
  • We can make a quick turnaround. In the final assessment, making a shift in mindset is all up to us. There is empowerment and energy that comes with standing and facing our situation alone without the challenges of miscommunication, unmet expectations, or half-hearted commitments that sometimes come with large group efforts. We can move quickly in guiding our own thoughts, decisions, and actions. As we look into the mirror, we need to ask, “What are we waiting for?”
  • A helping hand to others. Our journey through loneliness can be a helpful source of encouragement to someone who needs it most. We should be genuine and authentic in sharing our journey with someone else. As Plato once said, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” Someone close to us may need to hear our example of overcoming, but they may be too ashamed, embarrassed, or hurt to ask. Sharing our journey with those we care about most should be thought of as a potential source of encouragement to them, not a needed badge of honor for ourselves.

As we choose to see the bright side of loneliness, we can increase our chances of overcoming. We will continue to build and strengthen our character, and Character Creates Opportunity to reach our full potential and have a positive impact on others.

How can I help you today? My mobile is 269-370-9275 and my email is david@harvesttimepartners.com  

Please download some FREE resources at www.harvesttimepartners.com  I hope you will find them helpful in your journey to be your best for those you care about most.

Keep Moving Forward – Character Creates Opportunity®

With Veteran’s Day upcoming on Friday November 11th, I wanted repost a prior blog on a key learning from my time of service in Army.

“Experience is the mother of all learning,” so the saying goes. We all have some defining experiences in our lives. 

If we look back, there are probably a few events in our school years that we can still recall having a major impact on our lives. Whether it was a big championship game, an interaction with a great teacher, or some unfortunate painful experience, we still carry those experiences throughout our adult years. There are definitely some experiences from our close relationships, probably some positive and some negative, which remain with us as we continue our journey. Likewise, there are experiences in our chosen career that became teachable moments for us and we have carried those lessons with us to this day.

During my time in the Army, I certainly had some experiences that stay with me to this day. I learned a great deal about myself and a great deal about leadership, courage, strategy, and tactics. When I reflect back on the most significant learning, it was quite simple; the importance of just keeping moving forward. Whether tired, scared, or confused, just keep moving forward toward your objective. As an infantryman, with a heavy pack, leading a platoon of soldiers, the pressing call was always to keep moving forward toward the objective. Whether it was to complete a long, difficult road march, a specific tactical scenario that needed to be mastered in total darkness, or whether it was securing an objective on the battlefield in Iraq. No matter the ups and downs in that pursuit, there was a clear calling to just keep moving forward no matter what came our way.

Applying the principle to keep moving forward to our general journey of life would remind us that we know what the objectives are in serving a cause greater than our own, building a strong family, and a purposeful career. We know there will be unavoidable difficulties and very painful experiences that we will encounter. There will definitely be things we said or did that we genuinely wish we could take back and “do over.” However, there are no “do overs” in the life we are living. There is a need to be intentional about what we learn from those experiences, and we just need to keep moving forward in the direction of our objective.

It is important that we accept the reality that “do overs” don’t happen in this life. Many times, the damage is done, and perhaps only time can bring about some healing. We cannot “re-raise” our children, “re-live” some difficult moments in relationships, or “re-live” that career choice of 10 years ago. First impressions cannot be remade. Mean-spirited comments cannot be restated. Scars, many times, cannot be completely removed.

Life can only be lived in the present moment. What we have today is a great opportunity to keep moving forward regardless of the pain from the past. We will build and strengthen our character as we continue to move forward towards our objective, and our Character Creates Opportunity to build healthy relationships and puts us on the most effective path to accomplish our hopes and dreams.

How can I help you today? My mobile is 269-370-9275 and my email is david@harvesttimepartners.com  

Please download some FREE resources at www.harvesttimepartners.com  I hope you will find them helpful in your journey to be your best for those you care about most.

A Helpful Question – Character Creates Opportunity®

“Did you close the sale?” “Did you pass the test?” “Did you win the game?” “Did you complete the project?” “Did you make any money on this idea?”

These are all practical and meaningful questions commonly asked in the home, at work, and in the community.

When our kids were younger we would at some point over dinner or before bedtime ask them, “What did you learn today?” When they were young, the answers were filled with new observations of the world, facts from school, and insights from friends. For some reason, asking that to our now adult children gets a bit of a glare like we have two heads or something.

However, one of the more thoughtful, caring, and effective questions we can ask ourselves and others is, “What did you learn?”

As we work towards being our best for those we care about most, reinforcing the importance of individual and shared learning will enable all of us to more effectively continue along a path to reach our full potential.

There is no doubt that the task needs to be completed, money needs to be made, the student needs to pass the test, and winning leads to championships, but it is the learning that builds the foundation for greater impact down the road.

By reprioritizing our discussion to first ask about learning and second ask about the specific result, we accomplish several critical elements to ensure we remain on a productive path to reach our full potential and make a positive impact on those around us. Emphasizing learning before accomplishment helps to:

  1. Reinforce personal growth, and continual, personal growth is the foundation for building a brighter future for us as individuals and for those closest to us in our home, work, and community.
  1. Lessen the risk of getting arrogant with great accomplishments while bolstering our ability to remain humble…we always have more to learn, no matter how accomplished we have become.
  1. Demonstrate to others we care more about them than the awards on their wall. Ensuring others know that we care far more about them rather than what they have accomplished, we will keep the door open to genuine, healthy, and meaningful relationships.
  1. Encourage others to pursue their dreams rather than live in a box defined by the expectations of others. Moving out from under the expectations of others will enable all of us to take greater responsibility for our choices, more fully realize our strengths and weaknesses, develop clarity around our true purpose, and live a life with fewer regrets in the end.

As we continue to place an emphasis on learning, we will build and strengthen our character, and our Character Creates Opportunity to continue to grow, reach our full potential, and be an encouraging voice to those around us.

How can I help you today? My mobile is 269-370-9275 and my email is david@harvesttimepartners.com  

Please download some FREE resources at www.harvesttimepartners.com  I hope you will find them helpful in your journey to be your best for those you care about most.

A Simple Reminder – Character Creates Opportunity®

There is no doubt that we live in a complicated world that seems to steadily grow in complexity and intensity.

As we continue on our journey to be our best for those we care about most, there are points in time when we just need a simple reminder of truth to help us carry on. When there seems to be a never-ending cycle of uncertainty around the world, in our communities, and in our homes, we all could benefit from a reminder of universal, timeless, and self-evident truth to help us keep moving forward in a world that can sometimes leave us dazed and confused.

A simple reminder of truth today is that we become what we think about…we become what we “see” in our mind’s eye. Whether we subscribe to the teachings of some famous personal development guru, some “enlightened” individual, or we believe in the Book of Proverbs that says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” our take-away is the same. Regardless of our reference point, the truth remains, we become what we “see” in our mind’s eye.

We don’t need a PhD in psychology from a prestigious university, to be a member of the 1% or the 99% in terms of financial wealth, or to sit in a corner office to understand the simple, timeless, and universal truth that we become what we see in our mind’s eye. We could reference numerous academic studies, cite quotes from individuals who have had real impact in our world, or think back along our own experience, and the conclusion would be the same…what I dwell on in my mind, so much so that it becomes crystal clear, I become.

As we continue to move along our path, an important question we need to ask ourselves is, “What do I ‘see’ today?” In our own mind’s eye, not in the view of a spouse, a parent, a boss, a teacher, a TV broadcaster, a mentor, but what do we “see” in our own view?

Do we see adversity that we cannot overcome? Do we see relationships that are best to be broken instead of repaired and strengthened? Or…

Do we see an opportunity to rise above? Do we see challenge and a view of overcoming? Do we see the reality of close relationships struggling in the near term, but in the long view, see love, forgiveness, and togetherness?

Do we see a business with present-day challenges, but opportunity on the horizon? Do we see communities divided, but a pathway to cooperation and support? Or…

Do we just see dark clouds all around us?

Each one of us has the freedom to choose what we see in our own mind’s eye.

What do you “see” today?

In this present time of challenge in our world, our workplace, and in our homes, it would be helpful to remember the simple truth that we become what we see in our mind’s eye and ensure our lens is adjusted to see our present challenges as an opportunity to overcome and reach our full potential as individuals, families, and communities across the globe.

As we remind ourselves to refocus our mind’s eye with principles, like patience, perseverance, hope, and faith, we build and strengthen our character, and Character Creates Opportunity for us to create the future we desire and rise up to reach our full potential.

How can I help you today? My mobile is 269-370-9275 and my email is david@harvesttimepartners.com  

Please download some FREE resources at www.harvesttimepartners.com  I hope you will find them helpful in your journey to be your best for those you care about most.

A Risk in Our Virtual World – Character Creates Opportunity®

As we look to build and maintain healthy relationships in the home, workplace and community, the local book stores and web pages on Amazon contain countless resources offering advice. Some are complicated with academic theory and no practical application. Some are just the latest well-packaged marketing effort and others offer genuine value to those looking for some help in a time of real need.

As we pick our heads up from a post-Covid, video conference world for school, business, and keeping up with close friends, the importance of a physical touch to build and maintain healthy relationships seems to have been forgotten and not needed anymore. As we continue on our life’s journey, an opportunity that we do not want to miss is the positive outcomes that result from a touch that can build, strengthen, and heal relationships.

We are all well aware of the physical bonding that happens between a loving parent and a young child. There is a strong body of evidence to suggest that loving, physical contact at the early stages of a child’s life are critical to a child’s physical, mental, and emotional health. There is a great deal of documentation on the steep rise in infant morbidity and mortality when there is a lack of loving, physical contact during the early development years, which has been seen in orphanages around the world.

The reality is that beyond our infant years, we have a tendency to disregard the emotional and physical benefits that result from touch despite the growing body of research that suggests touch is fundamental to communication, relationships, and overall health. Michelangelo said, “To touch is to give life,” and there is growing recognition that touch is our primary means for communicating compassion.

This message is not some weird call to start grabbing each other. However, there are many of us who have grown up in western culture where consistent, supportive touch has been so confined to early childhood that we are missing a key element to build, strengthen, and heal our most important relationships. There are studies that show touch signals safety and trust, which are foundational to healthy relationships. When we take an honest assessment of the relationships we value most, whether they are struggling or not, we will most likely find we are missing the benefits of a warm, supportive touch on a consistent basis.

This message is not just for the home. Even if we were fortunate to grow up in a home where touch was reinforced throughout our lives in support of healthy relationships, chances are that societal pressures probably got the best of us in school and work where a supportive pat on the shoulder is sometimes considered out of line. Studies have shown that teachers who provide a friendly tap on the shoulder increase student engagement and learning. In my own professional journey, I have seen the benefits that a supportive touch on the shoulder can communicate straight to the heart of an individual that they “belong on the team” and that we will work together to deliver results. It is unfortunate that some foolish, out of hand behavior makes the headlines in work and school which increases our collective resistance to providing the benefits of a supportive, helpful touch.

Below are two considerations with regards to the importance of touch and our character:

  • “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” (thanks to Ben Franklin). Many of us might be talking and acting in a very supportive and encouraging way in our close relationships. However, statistics will show that for most of us, a consistent, supportive touch is not part of the equation. Given the well-documented benefits to our physical, mental, and emotional health and to the health of the relationship, start being intentional about adding a supportive touch to the mix as it will build relationship strength to help overcome the inevitable challenges that relationships bring throughout life. Start in the home and then build some courage to take it elsewhere.
  • When relationships are struggling, there is most definitely an absence of touch. Whether it is the struggles of a parent-child relationship, the routine friction between spouses, or “the big mistake” that created a fracture between close friends, a close touch seems to be a distant memory during the struggles of everyday relationships. A warm, loving touch should be part of our tool box to bring healing and health back to the relationship. An authentic, genuine embrace can open the door to health more effectively than words and time. Also, if you happen to be on the receiving end of an embrace to heal a troubled relationship, don’t resist; reciprocate the embrace and you will both be better off for the touch.

As we demonstrate the courage to incorporate touch into our most valued relationships, we will build and strengthen our character, and Character Creates Opportunity to improve the health of our relationships and set a great example for those around us.

How can I help you today? My mobile is 269-370-9275 and my email is david@harvesttimepartners.com  

Please download some FREE resources at www.harvesttimepartners.com  I hope you will find them helpful in your journey to be your best for those you care about most.

A Seasonal Reminder – Character Creates Opportunity®

Today marks the start of the fall season in many parts of the country. Even though most of us are not farmers by trade, we can sense the abundance of harvest time during this season.

As we continue to work on being our best for those we care about most at home, work and in the community, harvest time in the fall season helps to remind us of an important truth that we have a tendency to forget during the seasons of life. The fall season and the harvest time remind us of the one basic natural laws that most directly translates into a relevant, practical, and universal truth necessary to accomplish our hopes and dreams: The Law of the Harvest; simply, you reap what you sow.

The Law of the Harvest is the simplest and most powerful life-transforming principle. Ironically, we need a consistent, steady reminder of its simplicity and truth during the twists and turns of our life’s journey.

The Law of the Harvest, in the natural world, is as true as the law of gravity. If you want to reap an abundant harvest of corn or soybeans in the fall, there is only one pathway to follow: The Law of the Harvest. If we asked any farmer 2,000 years ago or one today in the fields of Iowa, we would get the same general response. There are no shortcuts to an abundant harvest. We must spend time in the winter to make a plan and prepare to implement when the spring comes. In the spring, we must prepare the ground and plant the seed. In addition, throughout the spring and summer, we must cultivate the fields through a long growing season. Then, and only then, will we reap an abundant harvest in the fall.

There is no way to take a short cut. We cannot vacation in the spring and summer and then jam an entire growing season into September. No matter how much financial wealth we may possess, there is no way to pay for the “Speed Pass” lane on the farm and there is no “Easy” button. The natural Law of the Harvest will always be our judge. Just like the law of gravity governs our eventual return to the ground no matter how high we jump, the Law of the Harvest governs our ability to produce our most essential food sources for life and it governs our ability to accomplish our most personal hopes and dreams.

If we want healthy relationships with those closest to us, the Law of the Harvest will be our judge. Are we vacationing all spring and summer with the expectation that relationships will be fine when tough times hit (friendly reminder…the tough times will hit)? Or are we doing the hard work today that looks like sacrifice, selfless service, and the humility to listen and learn?

In the most important areas of our lives, it is time to ask a most direct question, “Are we preparing to reap an Abundant Harvest?”

I hope we can all use the fall season as a moment of support and encouragement to apply the law of the harvest to achieve our hopes and dreams. As we become intentional about living according to the Law of the Harvest, we will build and strengthen our character, and Character Creates Opportunity to achieve our hopes and dreams no matter what our present situation.

How can I help you today? My mobile is 269-370-9275 and my email is david@harvesttimepartners.com  

Please download some FREE resources at www.harvesttimepartners.com  I hope you will find them helpful in your journey to be your best for those you care about most.

Quiet Service – Character Creates Opportunity®

There is a great deal of material written about and attention given to leaders. One of the burdens of leadership is often summarized in the phrase “It is lonely at the top.” There are many times when a leader needs to step forward and decide. The leader has gathered all the input, sorted through the data, and then at some point a decision needs to be made. There is that moment of decision when the burden is only fully felt by the leader. This is when a leader confronts that cold reality that it truly is “lonely at the top.”

However, today’s message is not about the “leader,” but about the often-underappreciated role that most of us play…The role of serving to get the job done. Mostly out of the spotlight, behind the scenes, and without the typical fanfare that comes with the lonely role at the top. Similar to an offensive lineman blocking for a great running back or providing protection for a great quarterback to find the open receiver, many of us do our job faithfully day in and day out without being in the spotlight.

As we look to be our best for those we care about most at home, work, and in our community, the commitment to keep moving forward in the quiet role of service to a cause bigger than ourselves will set a positive example for others to follow.

Although many times underappreciated, there is something extremely honorable about the commitment of those who get the job done in our workplace, our communities, and our homes. A tremendous example is quietly set by those getting up on a cold, dark morning and getting the job done on a consistent basis that is worthy of appreciation, but so often goes without it. It does not matter what role we play; whether we get up and load boxes into a truck, pack a lunch for children, sit and hold grandchildren, or plan the strategy for an organization. The day in day out choice we make to get up and get going despite going underappreciated for not just days, but perhaps years, is worthy of praise and honor.

Truth be told, our most underappreciated examples of honorable, quiet service most often occur with those closest to us in our homes and extended family.

We may not realize it, but those around us, whether they are our children, our coworkers, or our neighbors are all impacted by our example to serve. Individuals in high-level positions often earn praise, as well as criticism, for their service. However, the day-to-day example of those in quiet service beyond the spotlight to a cause bigger than themselves and honorably fulfilling their commitments are to be given the highest praise for their impact is positive and lasting on those around them.

All of us, at certain points in our journey across the various roles we play, will feel underappreciated for our efforts. Whether it is an insensitive spouse, a young adult going through that “know it all” phase, a preoccupied boss, or selfish coworkers, we all will go through times of service where we just feel underappreciated.

In most cases, especially in the home, the tide does eventually turn. The insensitive spouse or the “know it all” young adult eventually has that “light-bulb” moment when they realize the quiet service that has been delivered faithfully over the years. However, if they do not, it is important that we do not lose our drive to deliver on our commitments to do our job and fulfill our obligations. Continuing to move forward in quiet service is the right thing to do.

If you have felt underappreciated for a while, take this writing as a little “pat on the back” of encouragement for a job and an example well done. In addition, we all should do some self-reflection and see if we are that insensitive spouse, “know it all” young adult, preoccupied boss, or selfish co-worker and start today to put forth some encouragement and recognition to those who are in honorable, quiet service around us.

As we keep moving forward in quiet service out of the spotlight, we will continue to build and strengthen our character, and Character Creates Opportunity for us to have a positive impact in our world and on those closest to us.

How can I help you today? My mobile is 269-370-9275 and my email is david@harvesttimepartners.com  

Please download some FREE resources at www.harvesttimepartners.com  I hope you will find them helpful in your journey to be your best for those you care about most.

Gentleness – Character Creates Opportunity®

As we continue on our journey to be our best for those we care about most, the topic for today is a principle that gets little mention in today’s “loud and proud” environment. When we call roll for those who have delivered lasting, positive impact in our world, in our communities, and most certainly in our homes, there is a common virtue among them that is tough to find in the intensity of our world today.

The quality of gentleness or “strength under control” as the more practical, relevant definition continues to be an effective behavioral anchor in dealing with relationships in the complexity of life today.

If I polled the readers of this blog, I am confident we could all give a few solid testimonies about when we “lost it” in a relatively intense or even seemingly routine interaction with a family member, coworker, or friend. We occasionally blame our response on the hectic commute across town, a stressful day at work, the loss of the big game, our finances, the weather, etc.  However, we all know we fell short in demonstrating strength under control. We most likely took a big withdrawal out of the proverbial “relationship bank account” and needed to work extra hard making deposits into the future if we wanted to repair the relationship.

Maintaining gentleness in today’s world is not easy. The real-life situations of dealing with an unruly child while hustling to get ready for work, an irate customer call just as “normal business hours” have passed and the daycare is closing, the spouse who just seems oblivious to the situation you are struggling to get through, or the aging parent who does not realize her limitations are all situations that put our gentleness to the test. It is not easy to maintain strength under control, but it is well worth the effort.

There are several positive outcomes that we can all expect by demonstrating a greater degree of gentleness or strength under control in our interactions with others:

  • Gentleness has been shown over time, either through time-tested philosophers or academic research, to be the more effective method in strengthening relationships and sustaining positive behavioral change compared to the typical “loud, proud, and loss of control” technique we all so quickly adopt.
  • We will quickly replace the regretful thought of “oh, I should not have acted that way” with the cherished memory that we did the harder right, rather than the easier wrong, and more times than not, maintained a productive connection to continue the relationship on another day.
  • Our example will be “watched” by those around us, and whether we ever see it or not, others will be positively impacted by our actions.

We should all strive to have strength under control and model the principle of gentleness. As a result, we will continue to make steady progress on building and strengthening our character, and Character Creates Opportunity for us to have a positive, lasting impact in our relationships.

How can I help you today? My mobile is 269-370-9275 and my email is david@harvesttimepartners.com  

Please download some FREE resources at www.harvesttimepartners.com  I hope you will find them helpful in your journey to be your best for those you care about most.

The Courage to Ask – Character Creates Opportunity®

There is no denying that we have all fully embraced our digital life with instant access to all types of resources to help us be more efficient and effective. There are apps that with a simple tap on our phones can help us be more efficient with planning schedules, meals, vacations, and just about anything else. There is also no shortage of books or consultants we could employ to help us in everything we do.

There is one critical area that often gets overlooked on a very personal level. The courage to ask for help is often times what separates a willing helper from a person in genuine need of help.

As we look to be our best for those we care about most, it is the courage to ask for help that can create massive momentum in strengthening our close relationships and having a positive impact to overcome some area of struggle in our lives.

We could spend a great deal of time discussing why we all don’t ask for help, but suffice to say, many of us do not reach out for help when we truly need it. We typically march on until disaster strikes and our cover-up has lost its effectiveness.

It may not be what we see in the news headlines, but most people in our homes, workplaces and communities are genuinely willing to help someone in need. What we all lack is the courage to ask for help.

Yes, we all can, and need to, improve our listening skills and our ability to discern the real question behind the question or the real comment behind the comment. However, experience would tell us that we are all very good at the “cover-up.” We are very effective at continuing to attend the costume party wearing our best mask.

  • As a parent, we would give anything to hear about the real struggles of our children to offer help and assistance in overcoming a challenge. Many times, children (of all ages) don’t ask.
  • As a spouse, we would benefit much more from hearing what is at the heart of the struggles that often times manifest themselves in other ways like defensiveness, stonewalling, or contempt that cover up the real need for help. Many times, spouses don’t ask, or they give up after a few years of asking.
  • As a friend, we would open the door to much richer relationships if we went beyond the “everything is great” comment and genuinely opened up and asked for help. Many times, friends don’t ask.

There are a number of benefits that can come about when we have the courage to ask for help:

  1. We bring clarity to the need. Our relationships often wander with unproductive energy spent trying to figure out what is at the heart of the struggle or a particular behavior.
  2. We provide someone who wants to help with the opportunity to productively help. There is often times a willing helper without the understanding of where or how to help.
  3. We demonstrate to others the necessary courage to be vulnerable and ask for help. Our example will help them build courage to ask for help during their time of need…and we all have times of need.

The complexity of our lives can often hinder our ability to know exactly how to describe what it is we need help with—we just know the reality that we are hurting. A simple, soft call for “help” can open the door for a more productive discussion than simply maintaining the cover-up until disaster strikes and the costume party ends.

As we demonstrate the courage to ask for help, we will build and strengthen our character, and Character Creates Opportunity to build stronger relationships with those closest to us.

How can I help you today? My mobile is 269-370-9275 and my email is david@harvesttimepartners.com
Please download some FREE resources at www.harvesttimepartners.com I hope you will find them helpful in your journey to be your best for those you care about most.