Character Creates Opportunity® – Don’t Count On It: Thursday, August 25, 2016

Many times we wish for a quick fix to move rapidly through some challenging times.

  • Financial struggles – We wish the lottery numbers would come our way or that long lost Uncle Harry shows up on the doorstep with a briefcase full of money…don’t count on it.
  • Business struggles – We wish our first product would be the “must have” product for the market and we struggle to keep up with demand…don’t count on it.
  • Family struggles – For the most painful of all of life’s struggles, those in the home, we wish those dark times in a marriage or those “know it all” teenage attitudes could just be avoided…don’t count on it.
  • And why can’t our YouTube video go viral like so many others? Don’t count on it.One left behind.

Although it may seem like a great option, the quick fix to struggles actually does more harm than good.  There is an overwhelming amount of evidence that shows a quick fix is not the most effective path to reach our full potential.  When a quick fix arrives, we end up wasteful and most often unhappy when the “fix” fades away and the “fix” always fades away sooner than we think it can.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, it is important that we make the choice to embrace the struggle of the journey as we would not want it any other way.  It is highly unlikely that the lottery solves our problems, the next big thing scales our business and somehow we enter a period of family bliss like the TV shows of our youth.

Below are a few reasons to help encourage all of us to embrace the struggles and enjoy that fact that we will need to work hard for a long time to succeed in the marketplace, save our marriage and raise our children effectively in this uncertain and complicated world.

  1. A sense of peace from a “hard day’s work.” There is no quick fix that can surpass the peace experienced after successfully enduring a long struggle.  Whether that is the completion of a difficult physical workout, the reflections after a graduation, the silver or gold anniversary celebration, or the signing of a major business transaction.  We rise above the pain of the struggles and reflect peacefully on the journey that we walked through to reach a major goal.  No quick fix can match that feeling of overcoming through a long journey.
  2. Continual learning and personal growth. The reality is that we only learn through the struggles.  Ask any coach at any level of play.  Teams learn more from a loss than a win.  We learn more from poor product launches than when they go well.  Struggles bring personal growth and growth leads us down the path to reach our full potential.
  3. Setting the example for others to follow. Whether it is coworkers, family members, or friends in the community, we are being observed.  We set a strong example for others to follow when we embrace the opportunity of the struggle.  The spirit to continue is contagious and we light a spark for someone else to continue in their own, often unspoken, difficult struggle.

As we face the reality that a quick fix to our problems is not in the cards and we learn to embrace the struggles of hard work, disappointment, and outright confusion, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential.

Harvest Time Partners, Inc. Announces Complimentary Offering of The 4 A’s of Leadership for Families

Free Program Supports the Strengthening of Families through Alignment, Assignment, Accountability, and Affirmation

The 4 A’s of Leadership for FamiliesPortage, MI (August 18, 2016) — Harvest Time Partners, Inc., a rapidly growing personal and professional development company, announces that its 4 A’s of Leadership for Families program is now available for FREE from the company’s website. The 4 A’s of Leadership for Families is a proven framework for building and strengthening families in all types of environments.

According to David Esposito, Managing Partner of Harvest Time Partners, there is no denying that our world continues to grow in complexity, intensity, and uncertainty. Despite the unprecedented pace of change we are all experiencing in our homes, businesses, and communities around the world, there is one constant truth about families that we cannot escape: A loving, safe, and secure family is critical to our overall well-being and is the foundation for a better world. The 4 A’s of Leadership for Families is a practical and simple approach to strengthen families in a world that continues to challenge the well-being of those we care about most.

“We all spend a great deal of time and energy outside the home, but no amount of outward success can compensate for a failure at home,” said Mr. Esposito. “As families try to deal with the growing complexity and intensity of our world, we are pleased to offer The 4 A’s of Leadership for Families for free with the hope that these principles can provide a small degree of positive change in families as we all continue on the important journey to leave a positive legacy for our children and grandchildren.”

The 4 A’s of Leadership for Families program provides relevant resources and practical steps to ensure families are equipped to reach their full potential in a complex world. It is composed around the themes of:

  1. Alignment
  2. Assignment
  3. Accountability
  4. Affirmation

The program is available for FREE for download HERE.

Character Creates Opportunity® – The Long View: Thursday, August 18, 2016

The bookstore shelves (or Amazon.com) are lined with helpful hints on handling difficult relationships and tips on how to handle conflict with someone important in our lives.  These resources help address the reality that we don’t live on an island.  Life is about relationships and relationships, even with the best intentions, will get complicated, strained, and a bit sloppy from time to time.

The important relationships in our home, workplace, and community are worth our best effort to keep them moving forward in a positive direction.

With this blog, we have often discussed the importance of understanding one another because of the cold reality that we each see the world as we are, not as it is.  Deep understanding of each other’s point of view often leads to forgiveness and forgiveness brings about the opportunity for redemption even when relationships have become broken and shattered.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character an important principle to sustain healthy relationships is taking the long view in our day to day interactions with those important in our lives.

If we agree with most relationship experts and perhaps our own honest reflection of our life’s journey, we would see that most of us have a tough time with difficult conversations with those closest to us.  One of the great dichotomies of life is that conflict of ideas and decisions in the home, workplace, and community can create real difficult situations, but yet confrontation, healthy discourse, and diversity of opinions are the life blood of organizations and families. (Take heart parents who argue frequently…research says our kids will be better able to think on their own because they constantly see their parents with different opinions which drives them to think for themselves because their parents certainly haven’t solved it for them.  For those of you who have the “perfect” relationship with no disagreements or where that “one person” always gets his/her way, be forewarned, your kids may not be well prepared to handle life’s inevitable differences of opinions.) 

If we take the time to reflect back over conflicts and difficult conversations, quite often we realized we made a mountain out of a mole hill, the issue that brought about the conflict was not the “real” issue, or it just was not a really big deal after all.  Time is a great counselor because it gives us perspective.

One of the most difficult interpersonal challenges we all face is how to take a long term perspective in the heat of the moment.Driving on an empty road towards the setting sun

There is always a gap between our situation and how we respond.  Standing in that gap is our opportunity to take the long view in the heat of the moment.  Principles such as understanding, responsibility, loyalty, and commitment, help us to rise above the heat of the moment and widen that gap to create a more constructive interaction to solve difficult problems.

When we chose to take the long view in the gap between our situation and our response, we take several steps towards sustaining health in our important relationships:

  1. We focus on the principle and not the person. If there was dishonesty in the situation, we focus on the breakdown of an important principle.  We don’t just call someone a lying, selfish jerk.  Addressing the principle without attacking the person opens the door for dialogue.
  2. Timeless and universal principles such as honesty, loyalty, and commitment give us a strong foundation to more effectively see others’ points of view. Our foundation on principle also helps keep our own emotions in check in the heat of the moment.
  3. We set an example for others to follow…our character stands in the gap between our situation and our response and principle based behavior is contagious.

We have tremendous potential for growth and development as we stand in the gap between our situation and our response with thoughts, decisions and actions based on principles such as loyalty, commitment, and perseverance.  As we stand on timeless and universal principles, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to build healthy relationships that grow stronger rather than weaker with different perspectives and the conflict that results.

Character Creates Opportunity® – More Than I Think (Part II): Thursday, August 11, 2016

In follow-up to last week’s blog that focused on the female mindset, today we will turn our attention to the male mindset.  Compared to last week’s blog, I feel a little more secure in talking about this area, but nonetheless I will be making some generalizations based on the available research and my own life experience. I appreciate your understanding if I fall short.

As a reminder from last week, the importance of an upbeat, learning and growing mindset is not only critical to our overall emotional and physical health, but as we view those around us with an initial impression of open and honest compared to secretive and deceptive, we begin to build the foundation for healthy relationships.

What we see in our mind’s eye is the first step in reaching our full potential.

If I were to synthesize all of the academic research, the influence within most families, and the impact of our society on the development of our mindset, it would be this:

We are more than we think we are

Regardless of how we answer the perennial question, does art imitate life or does life imitate art, there are some clear examples of art describing the mindset of most men. Man free climbing

In 1986, The Fabulous Thunderbirds release their hit single “Tuff Enuff” (I am sure a few of you are singing along right now). The song’s chorus of “Ain’t that tuff enuff?” asked the question that lingers in the minds of men. The question of, “Am I man enough?”  For many common, every day occurrences, there is the continual question of do I measure up to being a real man.

Rodney Dangerfield was part of a unique set of comedians who paved the way for so many in today’s comic circles. Rodney’s signature line was “I get No Respect!” (I am sure many of you can see Rodney fidgeting with his tie as he said that famous line). Similar to the man enough question, the idea of being respected is a predominant part of the male mindset.

The issue of being man enough and being respected does not go away with the transition off of the middle school playground.  These thoughts just migrate into the workplace, the community, and most certainly our family life.

Although there has been a fair amount studied and written about these issues, the reality is most men address these lingering concerns like we unfortunately do with most things, silently alone and in the backdrop of our thoughts day to day.

Even with outward success (define that as you wish), most men will reach a certain milestone and these issues will continue to linger and result in the quest for another milestone in the hope that these issues will finally be adequately addressed…and if we can’t reach it, maybe our children will and we attempt to live peacefully in the backdrop of our offspring’s accomplishment.

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, an important aspect of reaching our full potential is to understand the attitudes and behaviors of the environment we live in, understand how those attitudes maybe deep seated in our subconscious, and continually work to rise above a limiting mindset to see a more fulfilling, productive path to reach our full potential.

Similar to the initial statement above that “we are more than we think we are,” if I was to consolidate all the research, family influence, school yard (and workplace) dynamics just for the mindset of a man, I would say:

You are strong and courageous and more respected than you think you are.

Below are some thoughts to help raise our sights on these important realities:

  1. As our world and our homes continue to grow in complexity and uncertainty, just being consistent in climbing back into the ring each and every day to fulfill our responsibilities is a sign of genuine strength and courage.
  2. There is most often a thin veil of respect from others because of our achievements or possessions. Sustained, healthy respect and admiration from others is most often achieved when our thoughts, decisions, and actions are not about “ME,” but about serving others.  Serving others starts first in the home which sets the tone for service that can have significant impact in the world around us.
  3. One additional thought with regards to what seems like a lifelong journey to accomplish “things” to satisfy these concerns of being a real man and being respected…satisfaction and peace come through having a clarity of purpose beyond material attainment that can guide and direct our day to day efforts. As men, we need to own that effort to find purpose.  If you have a man in your life, I would respectfully ask you to encourage an open discussion and an eventual decision around finding that purpose that could direct his ways. Start today.

As we work hard to proactively build an effective mindset that we are stronger and more courageous than we think we are, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential.  I wish you all the best on your purposeful journey.

Character Creates Opportunity® – More Than I Think (Part I): Thursday, August 4, 2016

One of the most frequent topics on this blog is around the importance of our own mindset in reaching our full potential.  As the Book of Proverbs reminds us, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”

The importance of an upbeat, learning and growing mindset is not only critical to our overall emotional and physical health, but as we view those around us with an initial impression of open and honest compared to secretive and deceptive, we begin to build the foundation for heathy relationships.

What we see in our mind’s eye is the first step in reaching our full potential.Her skin

If I were to synthesize all of the academic research, the influence within most families, and the impact of our society on the development of our mindset, it would be this:

We are more than we think we are

We will split this blog into two parts.  Research and our own practical experience would suggest there are some different mindset limitations between females and males.  We will cover females today and males on the next blog.  As a male, I realize I am stretching more than a bit to say I understand the female mindset, but I have done my best to incorporate a vast amount of published work and my own life experience to draw some conclusions.  I appreciate your understanding if I fall short.

The Dove Real Beauty Sketches series touched a nerve with over 60+ million people.  I would highly encourage you to view the short 3 minute video.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk

Over time, there have been other studies and resources that help give us insight into the environment that has the potential to be a significant driver to some hardwired thoughts in the minds of women, both young and old.  Here are just a few examples:

  • Outward beauty and appearance correlate to a wonderful life
  • Leadership and innovation in science, technology and business are beyond practical reach
  • Physical and emotional strength may not be sufficient for all the challenges in life

As we continue on our journey to build and strengthen our character, an important aspect of reaching our full potential is to understand the attitudes and behaviors of the environment we live in, understand how those attitudes maybe deep seated in our subconscious, and continually work to rise above a limiting mindset to see a more fulfilling, productive path to reach our full potential.

Similar to the initial statement above that “we are more than we think we are,” if I was to consolidate all the research, family influence, school yard (and workplace) dynamics just for the mindset of a woman, I would say:

You are stronger and more brilliant and beautiful than you think you are.

Those words were chosen specifically because of a few key realities:

  1. Despite having numerous examples of tremendous emotional, mental and physical strength around us, the mindset that many girls grow up with is that they are not strong enough.
  2. In our world, we often don’t mix brilliant and beautiful in the same description. It is one or the other that is highlighted.  Despite numerous examples of women driving scientific and technology discovery, there is still the predominant framework that the fields of scientific discovery and business innovation will be dominated by men.  Also, as evidence of the impact of the Dove beauty sketches, the perception of personal beauty still impacts the mindset of women.
  3. One additional thought and suggestion…every father should remind his daughter (s) that they are stronger and more brilliant and beautiful than they think they are…and never stop reminding them of that fact as they will be continually bombarded, beyond the middle school playground to include their own journey in relationships and family, that they are not strong enough or brilliant and beautiful enough. Start today.

As we work hard to proactively build an effective mindset that we are more capable, talented and brilliant and beautiful than we think we are, we will continue to build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential.  This week we addressed women and next week we will address men…stay tuned.