Last week’s blog focused on how the typical transitions in life can be great opportunities for personal growth.  When we are intentional about learning and growing instead of resisting change through these often difficult transitions, we find ourselves on an effective path to reach our full potential.

For most of us, the typical transitions in life come about by just following the crowd in the routine choices of life.  Most of us simply follow the crowd.  The student transitions through school years and then into the workforce.  The transitions into marriage, children, and caring for aging parents all somewhat follow the flow of the typical journey of our modern life.  As we discussed last week, these transitions can be difficult, but they also afford us a tremendous opportunity for personal growth.

Since there is such a great opportunity for growth in these typical transitions, the challenge for us is to identify ways we can ignite change in our lives during the somewhat steady, routine seasons of life in order to continue to grow or at least not get stuck in a rut.

The focus of this week’s blog is on how we can identify and create transition moments in life in order to ‘raise the bar’ in our personal growth and to provide a helping hand in getting out of a rut we have created during times we have become comfortable, settled, and perhaps a bit complacent.

We have all heard the expression of the simple truth that “life is a journey, not a destination.”  However, for most of us, it is those destination points in life (graduation, a good job, a family, money in the bank) that pose our greatest risk of becoming complacent and settled.  Our mindset becomes “I have worked hard, persevered through challenges, learned, and ‘arrived.’ Now I can take my foot off the gas and coast for a bit.”  We all know that mindset is a recipe for disaster in the workplace, in maintaining a marriage, raising children, and in any other meaningful role we may play in life.

Instead of getting stuck in a rut or risk a disaster in an area of life that we genuinely care about, how can we maintain a desire for personal growth during the routine seasons of life and mimic the opportunity to grow that we find during major transition points in life?

Here are a few suggestions:

(1)    Accept the Reality that our current status (a good job, a committed marriage, emotionally healthy children) is at risk if we are not intentional about our own growth.  Will Rogers said it best, “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”  We are at risk the moment we feel we “arrived” on the fresh side of a typical transition point in life.

(2)    Clarify Intentions.  It is important that we clearly decide what we want to become and how we want to act in the many roles we play. “Winging it” sounds cool on the dance floor, but in the really important things in life, we will fall way short of our potential without being intentional with our efforts.

(3)    Leverage the Natural Rhythms of Life as fresh starts to make incremental changes to improve.  Routine points in the year like the start of summer break, going back to school, the New Year, anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, even “Mondays” can be extremely practical and relevant times to declare a fresh start on making a small, incremental change to reach a new goal.

(4)    Sustainability.  For many of these typical transition points in life, we are in it for the long haul.  We don’t start and then stop being a parent, or being a son or daughter, and most of us will be “working” at something throughout our lives.  Marriages, well sometimes that may be a different story, but our original intention is to be in it for the long haul. We have all probably experienced times when we tried to make massive changes in some area of our lives after attending a “pump-up” motivational event, “re-dedicated” our efforts to something, or a genuinely significant life event (sickness, family break-up, job loss etc.) caused us to “wake up” and try to get on the right track.  The data would demonstrate that massive life changing plans usually are not sustainable for any of us over the long haul.  What seems to work best is making small, incremental changes over time that builds momentum for us to sustain heading in the right direction over the long haul.  Decide on small changes and start making progress.

(5)    The Crowd We Keep.  We often tell our kids how important it is that they hang out with the “right” crowd, not the “wrong” crowd, because for most of us, we follow the crowd.  As adults, we don’t always take our own advice.  We should seek to connect with those who are encouraging and supportive of heading down an effective path vs. those who bring negativity and apathy on any path.  Find the “right” crowd and stick with them, just like we tell our kids.

Like most things in life, the choice is ours.  We can become set in our ways and find we have created a rut or worse a coffin that limits our potential.  Or we can ignite a spark of change during the routine seasons of life so we can continue to grow and reach our full potential.  As we decide to continue to move forward in growth, we build and strengthen our character and realize the truth that Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential and make a positive impact on those around us.

In many areas of life, we witness a clear “rallying cry” which serves to energize an individual or group to give their very best and to sustain them when times get really tough.

In sports, we find a rallying cry in playing our role and contributing to the team’s effort to win a championship.  In the military, we have the mission to accomplish and to “have the back” of the individuals in the unit we serve. In the history of nations, we often hear a rallying cry of some incredible goal like President Kennedy’s declaration in 1961 to send an American safely to the moon before the end of the decade.  It is as a result of these types of rallying cries that we often see incredible acts of perseverance and service that we admire and draw some personal motivation to keep moving forward.

Not all rallying cries are made of good and just causes for humanity or for things closer to home.  Unfortunately, throughout our history, there have been and continue to be rallying cries of evil that carry the same passion, energy, and never-quit mindset that positive, uplifting rallying cries can generate.

I am sure we can all relate to times in our lives when we were energized and filled with passion as we followed a certain rallying cry.  It may have been playing on that high school sports team striving for a championship.  Perhaps it was some activity in school or service project that gave us energy and focus.  As working adults, maybe it was the product launch that galvanized the efforts of everyone in the company to give their very best.  The rallying cry of parenthood often gives parents incredible energy to stay up for nights on end with a young child who is not feeling well.  The fitness goal of running a 5K or even a marathon can be just the rallying cry we need to get back into shape.

A rallying cry provides direction for the very essence of our being.

When we align ourselves with that direction we find ourselves giving our very best, never quitting, and in most cases, we find the peace of purpose and belonging that is so crucial to our emotional health and stability.

As adults, many times we become unmoored and adrift because we have lost connection to a rallying cry perhaps because we (a) let the busyness of life create a fog that conceals our desired direction (b) we gave in to the general flow of adulthood and buried our passion or (c) we never were awakened or reinforced enough to the importance of direction in our life to our overall health and potential.  The result is that we often lose energy quickly, fail to give our best, and most definitely fall short of our potential.

As we fail to contemplate, articulate, and move toward our own rallying cry, we often hear things like “I am just not happy” or “I just don’t have the energy that I use to”…and the list of phrases goes on and on.

As we build and strengthen our character, an important element is for us to define our rallying cry in order to focus our effort and sustain our engagement for the long haul.  Some people may describe terms like “mission” or “purpose” in defining our direction.  It is not about the terminology or the process, it is simply about connecting and continually reconnecting with the direction we are headed, with what truly moves us into action, and what cause will sustain us through the unavoidable challenges we will face.

Here are just a few thoughts from others to help remind us of some simple truths in reconnecting with our own rallying cry:

The risk of not defining a direction: “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.” The Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland

The direction of service: “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Gandhi

I think we can all agree that individuals closest to us would be strengthened and encouraged if we reconnected with a rallying cry of service to others, especially in the home.

As we reconnect with or perhaps redefine our own personal rallying cry, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to reach our full potential.

Mistakes…We have all made them.

As kids, we make mistakes in the classroom and get red ink all over our assignments.  We make a mistake on the field and our opponent scores.  We certainly make mistakes with friends and family as we grow during those difficult adolescent years.

As adults, we continue to make mistakes.  We make mistakes at work and the business may lose money, make a defective product, or lose a customer.  In relationships, we make mistakes around promises made and not kept.  We speak-up when we should shut-up, and shut-up when we should speak-up.  We make mistakes with our use of time and money.

Whether we are a child or an adult, mistakes hurt.

For most of us, our mindset is to view mistakes as bad and something to avoid.  Mistakes and failures are an inevitable part of life. Mistakes and failures are a necessary part of learning and personal growth. Psychologists and researchers would tell us that almost all learning comes from mistakes.

If we are honest with ourselves, the majority of us gravitate towards ease and comfort when things are going well.  We only learn and grow through struggles and the tough times brought on by mistakes.  On the athletic field, we learn a great deal more when we lose, than when we win.  In school, we learn and grow more when we see red ink on our papers.  In business, we learn and grow a great deal more when we miss our objectives, than when we hit our numbers.  In relationships, we have a tendency to take things for granted when there is perceived harmony, and we are only open to learning and growth when doors get slammed, tempers flare, and we reach a breaking point.

When we view mistakes only as bad and something to avoid, we inhibit learning, experimentation, and new ideas that could trigger breakthroughs in the home, the workplace, and our communities.

Here are just a few thoughts on how we can build and strengthen our character through the unavoidable encounter with mistakes throughout our journey of life:

(1)    When we make mistakes, take on the mindset of learning and growth vs. anger and regret.  We will make mistakes.  As long as we live, we will keep making mistakes.  Commit to learn something and keep moving forward.

(2)    When others close to us make mistakes, act to encourage learning and growth vs bringing additional pain.  They will most likely experience plenty of personal “pain and suffering” without us adding more salt to the wound.  Offering a word of encouragement to learn and grow through a mistake will build trust and dismantle fear which will help to strengthen the relationship.

As we begin to view mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow, we will build and strengthen our character and Character Creates Opportunity® to improve relationships and achieve great results.